NEEDS TO...

So I realize that this is my 3rd post for the day. What can I say I'm on a roll.

My friend Jessie (shout out) sent me this via email and I thought it was hilarious and I like to share funny things to here you go.

Here's what you do: go to Google and type in your first name followed by "needs." For example, "Heidi needs" or "Yoda needs" or "Chuck Norris needs"... well you get the idea. Then list the first 10 things that pop up.

HEIDI NEEDS...
1- to live with desire. Huh? I live with the desire to have ice cream while watching reruns of Charles in Charge in my sweatpants.
2- love. yes, yes I do.
3- more privacy. Come on. I go the bathroom and shower with the door wide open. I'm not much of one for privacy.
4- attention. Oh No I don't! I hate attention. Especially on my birthday. Although I do love the attention I get from my husband.
5- to finish her latest novel. I'm in between books. need a good read. any suggestions?
6- glasses. Hahaha very funny. remember this picture? Unless you are saying that these glasses (not the hairstyle...I liked my perm and big bangs) are hideous and I need new ones then that assumption would be correct.
7- to stop. i prefer rolling stops while driving.
8- a gun as a toy. definitely not. Guns scare me. even the fake ones.
9- to shut-up. no argument here.
10 - to go easy on the blue eyeshadow. Really? That was 17 years ago and it was my sister, Rachel. I prefer green.

Since that was so much fun I googled "Clayton needs" too.

CLAYTON NEEDS...

1- no recognition. not true. He doesn't get enough recognition for all that he does.
2- more deputies. Huh? More? I didn't know he even had one. Strange.
3- help. With what? Dinner-no he does fine on his own. He is quite the cook. Putting his socks away-yes he definitely needs help with that.
4- combat pay? I don't know about combat, but we would take the pay.
5- to teach effectively. if he is teaching about how to catch a terrorist organization that is trying to take over the state of Delaware with nothing but bailing twine, duct tape, and pop rocks then YES he does need to teach effectively.
6- population. If this means to populate then you have another thing coming.
7- research. for what?
8- to be fed the football. don't think his mouth is that big. oh that meant "given the football". hey he isn't like TO (Terrell Owens for you non-football watchers) he can share.
9- a helping hand. don't we all?!
10- to grow. I would say that he has lost way more than he has grown. The kid has lost over 50 lbs within the last year.

There you have it. We are googled!

BEAVIN'

BEAVIN' definition according to Clayton's dictionary: The movements of a skier and snowboarder pair as they go down a snow covered mountain.

Clayton can't say that he went skiing when he was snowboarding and I can't say I went snow boarding when I went skiing. Get it? No? Not important. Moving on...

What do you have when you have the following on a snow covered mountain at night?

* 8 pairs of carhart coveralls on skis or snowboards

* 12 pairs of Levi jeans on skis or snowboards

* 22 people yelling "oh HECK" as they go down the mountain

* 1 person asking why his cowboy boots can't act as ski boots

* 3 skiers tying bailing twine to their ski poles and trying to rope snowboarders as they go down the mountain yelling "yehaw" in the process

This my friends is a TRENTON WARD SKI NIGHT at Beaver Mountain. Always an adventure. Always.

Brother Brandon. Actual brother not brother in the Gospel brother. He was one of the guys yelling "oh HECK" as he went down the mountain. We could always hear him before we could see him. Oh and by the way he is S-I-N-G-L-E. Contact me for dating information.
I love skiing, but it was cold and we were bored. Little Beaver (the bunny hill they use for night skiing) doesn't not have enough runs and difficulty to keep us entertained. But it was cheap. Yay for cheap. That's me Typical snowboarder always SITTING on the hill. Pretty sure I just made a lot of enemies with that comment...but it is true.

Signing off...

KAMBROSIA

Kami (aka Kambrosia, aka pooper, aka Lynn, aka...ummm I'm outta aka's) had a birthday yesterday. She is 26. She is older, but not wiser. I am wiser. That's why she looks up to me sooo much. Sometimes I have to say, "look Kami I know I am cool and incredibly smart and that it is frustrating that you can't be as cool or as smart, but I'm sure that you can come somewhat close...like halfway or so." Just kidding Kami...geez calm down. Kami is incredibly smart, talented, beautiful and SASSY. Enjoy Kami this post is for you.

Kami has traveled many places with me...

Hawaii (sorry Kami I know you hate this picture, but I like it), Arizona, California (southern CA and San Francisco), Colorado, Texas, Yellowstone, Moab etc. I find it ironic how how I did the inviting on all these trips, but when she would go somewhere (uh hum NEW YORK) I was not invited. Ya who's the nice sister now!?! Oh yeah this is supposed to be a nice post about Kami...sorry...continue on...
This is Kami's boyfriend (don't get jealous Erik, but isn't he hott!?!) from when we went skydiving in Hawaii. Wouldn't you like to have him strapped to your back!?!
If ever I was bored Kami and I would ride our bikes around Trenton, jump on the tramp and go to the pool.
Kami keeps me entertained with emails at work.
Kami introduced me to 24. I will be forever grateful for that.
Kami ran a half marathon with me.
Kami held me during the hard times.
Kami was supposed to bring me the first couple seasons of Saved by the Bell last week but she forgot! However, I know that she will remember next time she comes up north. Won't you Kami!?!
Kami let me go wedding dress shopping with her.
WooWoo
Kami gave me my first Twilight book.
Kami would always take random Bear Lake trips with me, would be my ski partner, shopping partner, and hiking friend

Kami shares my passion for High School Musical.
Kami doesn't let her disabilities get in her way. She lost part of her pointer finger when she was little and does things that people with 5 good fingers can't. Can't think of anything right now, but trust me on this one.
Kami complains with me and also gossips with me (she will deny this one, but again trust me)
Kami would play basketball with me and tell me that I was good when we both new that I wasn't.
Kami would let me borrow her clothes
Kami shares my love for ice cream. Something my husband lacks.
I could go on and on and on and on but know this my friends...Kami will always have your back. She is an awesome sister, person and friend.

Love you Kami and Happy Birthday

CONSIDER THIS YOUR WARNING

WARNING: This post contains graphic pictures. No porn, just blood. You have been warned.

So Clayton has been running ... a lot. He came home the other day saying that his big toe hurt. Ignoring it like I do so well (ya I'm up for wife of the year) I mumbled, "sorry" or something. I'm blaming my lack of sympathy on my father who when I was growing up and got injured I was told to "tough it out and act like a man." Love ya pops! Couple of days later Clayton asked me to look at it because it was hurting real bad. Not wanting anything to serious (like amputation) to happen my husbands lovely "Frodo Feet" or "Hobbit Feet" I obliged, but failed to see anything wrong with it. About a week later Clayton showed me his toe again. It looked like this...

Yep black toe. Nothing fell on it, he didn't smash it, just ran it to death. Those of you who run probably know that sometimes black toes happen. What happened was a blood blister formed under his toenail. This could be attributed to too small of shoes, shoes being the wrong width or some other reason I am unsure off. His shoe size isn't to blame because his running shoes are a size bigger than his normal, everyday shoes. So...you figure it out. This has happened to me a few times as well. Needless to say I have ugly feet. Real ugly. I'm talking a makeupless Kathy Griffen ugly. Not wanting the precious (insert hideous Gollum voice saying "precious" here...yes I am ashamed that I know that considering how I attest LORD OF THE RINGS) hobbit feet to become disfigured Clayton came up with a plan (probably not the smartest plan, but exciting nonetheless).

I don't feel like getting sued today so do NOT try this at home.

STEP # 1: get your drill STEP # 2: Gently drill your black toe STEP # 3: Go get your headlamp because the lighting in your room is bad. STEP # 4: Watch with joy as the blood comes pouring out. Since that was so much fun, we decided to fix Clayton's black pinky nail as well. The cause: trying to put away some weights on a rack. He did this the old school way with a pin. Definitely not as exciting.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NANA

Dear Nana,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY (belated day late birthday that is)!!!

Since you didn't want your picture taken on Sunday (and since I forgot my camera...rare moment for me) you get this lovely from Clayton's graduation a few years ago.

Just wanted to let you know how much Clayton and I love and appreciate all that you do for us. Clayton couldn't ask for better parents and I couldn't ask for better in-laws. We both really lucked out in the parent/in-law department.

Thanks for the hugs, the love, the prayers, the concern, the gifts, the listening ear, the advice, the Sunday dinners, the emails, the phone calls and all the other things you do for us ... we definitely don't let you know enough how much we appreciate it and how much it means to us.

I especially want to thank you for giving birth to that B-I-G 8lb (almost 9lb) baby 28 years and for raising him to become the man he is today. I know that he is who he is in large part because of his wonderful parents and I can't thank you enough for that.

Hope you had a great birthday because you deserve it. Hope you ate a Maddox corn roll with raspberry butter and a piece of cheesecake for me.

Love you!

Love,

Clayton and Heidi

MORE SLEDDING...THE NON DANGEROUS KIND

Ahh...fresh, fluffy snow.

To take home all body parts and skin is awesome.
To not have to use Neosporin for a week straight is even better.
To not look like someone punched me in the face and suggest my husband is abusive is just fantastic.

You might remember the sledding incident from a few weeks ago. No? Catch up here.

After the last sledding adventure it was SNOW - 1 HEIDI - 0. Ready to even up the score we (by "we" I mean Clayton and myself...I hope after 2 plus years of blogging bliss you have picked up on that) headed out to "the sinks" with some ward friends. If you don't believe me that we either A. we go to church or B. we have friends see picture below. Our friends. No this was not photoshopped to make us look like we have friends. Although seeing how "they" are all grouped together and we are off to the side a bit does make me feel like we smell or something.

Question - what is better than sledding down a hill and having a snowmobile pull you back up to the top? Answer - NOTHING! It was awesome. They lazy man's way to sled and I am totally ok with that. The sleds per run ratio is a lot higher.
That's us. I like him and I'm pretty sure he likes me. After a while some of the guys wanted to prove their manhood and see if they could be pulled around on the tube and stay on. Not one guy proved his manhood that day. Sad.

Clayton. I think he is rad.

SNOW - 1 HEIDI - 1.

BIRTHDAY SHINDIG

Clayton, Tydon and myself celebrated our birthday's at my parents house a few weeks ago. Mom made awesome food and Kami and Erik even privileged us with their presence from SLC. I like these next two pictures not because of people in focus (let's be honest I like about 1.5% of pictures of myself) but because of the people in the background.

Mom sneaking a bite of cake. Caught ya.

Rachel making a face. Classy.

Tydon says pretty much two words, "tweat" (treat), and "tactor" (tractor). He loves to hang out with grandpa on the farm. While everyone was downstairs (even grandpa) was hanging out downstairs watching football Tydon was in the backroom. When he came out he had put on grandpa's farm boots all by himself. Apparently Grandpa was a little too slow for Ty. He was ready to go ride some tractors.

WOUNDS OF SLEDDING

Fact: Tubing down a small mountain when it hasn't snowed in weeks and the snow has turned into ice is NOT a safe and friendly family sport, especially when you race someone down the hill headfirst.







I hope you realize the sacrifice that I am making to bring the two pictures to you... I realize that they are not attractive ones of yours truly.


So there we were, Trenton Hill (call it little mountain and I will...). The whole family plus Julie. Good time were had. Good food was had. Good crashes were definitely had.

ONE tube + FIVE people = awesome ride

Best part of the day was Brandon crashing and burning...over and over and over again. Pretty sure he crashed 1 out of 2 rides down the hill. Showoff. It's amazing that he is still single.

uhhh...Kace and I. We rocked that hill.

awesome. See that two-year old stuck in the middle?

I guess Brandon thought that if he wrapped himself up in a tarp and went down the hill he would crash. Result was similar to image 4 pics up. Nice...Brandon...Nice
The fam. We like each other.
Clayton and I gettin' ready for another run.
Nate making a snow angel.

Good times.